Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize