Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
