I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
