I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Even my vagina gasped.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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