she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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