I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
