im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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