i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
two words: eviction party
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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