Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
