i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
