What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
