You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
