i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
