Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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