im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
