You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
