Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
