the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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