I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
