Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize