After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
