Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize