mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I know her cup size but not her name....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
