Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
