They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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