i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
