Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
