16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
