we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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