So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Randomize
