I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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