Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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