Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
