I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
