I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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