You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
