who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
