Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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