Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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