your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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