I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
A bitchslap is in order.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
