someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
