And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
