So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize