I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
