She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I believe in your delicious
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize