need another drink. this is the easiest way
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize