Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
