He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
They took my balls.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize