They should really pass out barf bags in church
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
