I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
