you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
