Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
