I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
