i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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