We're like a lot better than the average bears
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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