i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You were trust falling into bushes
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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