its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
vagina is talking i cant
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
