do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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