Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
