yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
